#Canadian Comedy Series

[canadachronicles]

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I love this, I truly do! This also made me realise, I'm still not ready to say goodbye to Kim's Convenience!

Source: CBC Gem's Instagram Page

[atomic-chronoscaph]

TGIF

[shinigami-striker]

League of Super Evil | Thursday, 03.07.24

On this day, The League of Super Evil (2009-2012) premiered on YTV in Canada 15 years ago.

[softquietsteadylove]

Ok ok… here me out for a second…

Thenamesh Addams Family AU…

The Lee Family: business associates of Father's who were coming to meet with them over real estate (or some such). Mister Lee dealt in property, and also possessed quite a lot of the railways, according to Father. Missus Lee was as much of a matriarch as Mother, although they were going to talk about their poison gardens, or some other such.

Thena stared at the family standing in the foyer. They were like the picture perfect opposite of herself and her own family. They were dressed entirely in black, even the son in a smart black suit. They had mild expressions but warmer seeming eyes, all a gentle brown.

Mother and Father had perfectly sculpted smiles, but eyes as cold as the tundra. They were dressed in all white, just like Thena was, with her white-blonde hair braided over her shoulder.

"Mister and Missus Lee," Father greeted them with a falsely warm tone. Before they had arrived, he had said that they were horrid people to do business with, despite his very warm tone.

"Such a pleasure," Mother purred as she exchanged air-cheek-kisses with Missus Lee. She had said that she would rather let Theseus - the young iguana currently hiding in Thena's room - sit on her lap than align herself with 'Mister Lee's wife'.

Such walking contradictions her parents were.

"This is our son," Mister Lee smiled more genuinely, putting his hands on his son's (broad) shoulders. "Gilgamesh."

"Pleasure to meet you." He had a soft voice.

Thena stared at the young man. He was big for their age, with a young moustache coming in on his upper lip. Thena's lips twitched; it suited him, in a funny sort of way.

"Gilgamesh," Mister Lee clapped his hands on his son's back as the parents began moving into the drawing room, "greet the young lady properly."

Not that they stuck around to see that it happened.

Thena looked at the young man again, extending her hand, her palm facing the floor. Her face was still impassive, and she hadn't said a word, just like Father always taught her.

Gilgamesh looked at her with some intrigue in his eyes, bending further than he needed to as he accepted her hand in his. He bowed his head completely, nothing short of reverent as he said, "my pleasure."

Thena tilted her head as he kissed the back of her hand. It was gentle, and he even held it softly with his other hand as his lips touched her knuckle. She smiled; she could feel his moustache tickle her skin, "enchante."

"Bless you," he extended a handkerchief.

Thena laughed before quickly raising her hand between her mouth and his eyes. She was forgetting her etiquette with their guest; Mother would be furious.

"What, are you not allowed to laugh?"

Thena looked at him again, and, without his parents to loom over him, Gilgamesh seemed more relaxed. His shoulders were still wider than any she had seen, but they were slouched, his hands in his trouser pockets. She had never seen anyone look so comfortable in their own skin before.

"It's okay," he shrugged as he smiled, attempting to encourage her into doing the same, "I won't tell."

She almost - almost! - let another laugh escape her before fixing her lips into a perfect smile. It was rigid and hard to maintain, but it was the only one she knew how to do. "I thank you for your consideration."

"So, uh," Gilgamesh leaned back just for a second before walking closer to her, away from the doorway where their parents' business mutterings were happening. "We're supposed to...talk, I guess?"

"Indeed."

"Okay," he looked at her, hands still in his pockets. His eyes ran over her, and Thena briefly forgot what she had put on that day (Mother always picked her clothes for her anyway). "What do you wanna talk about?"

Thena blinked. She had read about trains and business economics and stock options all night in preparation to meet the magnate's son. And he was asking her? "Me?"

"Yeah, you," he smiled, even more naturally than before. He had a nice smile. "What do you like to do?"

What did she like to do? What was she allowed to do? Her days were filled with lessons, and then after that, she was left to her own devices. "Sometimes Mother lets me assist her in the poison garden."

"Oh yeah, Ma has the same kind of thing at home," Gilgamesh made a face that betrayed his lack of interest in the topic. "She just gets mad when I'm outside because she always thinks I'll step on it, though."

Thena felt her lips twitch, aching to leave the practised posture of the smile she had on. "Mother is similarly protective of ours. She gets furious when Theseus crawls around in the soil."

"Who's Theseus?"

Again, Thena felt caught off guard by the question, even though they were the only ones speaking. She wasn't used to being asked so many questions that weren't on a preordained subject. "Theseus is my iguana."

"You have a pet?" Gilgamesh beamed, so utterly delighted by even the idea of having an animal companion. He stepped closer to her, "can I see him?"

"I-I suppose," she uttered before she had a chance to think better of it. Was this what she was supposed to be doing? She was told to be hospitable to the Lee Family et al, so surely that included indulging Gilgamesh too...right? "Come with me."

"Allow me," he smiled, holding out his hand for her.

Thena paused just for a moment before slipping her hand into his, the way she had seen Mother do when Father held her hand as they walked the halls of their cold and sprawling estate. The way a gentleman did with a lady.

Gilgamesh held her hand so gently she felt as if she would collapse.

Thena looked down at the steps as she lead him upstairs, opting to walk to the left first. "Mother and Father have been anticipating your visit for quite some time."

"My folks too," he concurred, in much more casual phrasing. He looked around as they walked, his other hand still in his pocket. "They're all excited for it, and yet they keep saying what a drag it is."

Thena smiled as much as she was able without practising, "my parents are the same. I haven't the faintest idea why they insist on referring to things they claim are good to be so awful."

"They're funny like that, huh?" Gilgamesh looked away from the family portraits lining the upper walls to her again. "Should I have said it was quite awful to make your acquaintance?"

Thena let another tiny little laugh escape. She peeked at Gilgamesh, just to make sure he didn't mind. But he was smiling right at her. "Abysmal to meet you as well."

"See?" he grinned so freely, so uninhibited by the gilded cage around them. "Maybe that should be our code for things. If they're going to pretend shit it so great, then we can say just the opposite."

They reached the top of the staircase, where it split from its other half. Still, he didn't let go of her hand, waiting for to lead him wherever they pleased.

"Then I am having," she paused, her lips pressing together in threat of another smile, "an awful time."

His hand squeezed around hers faintly. But it was nice. "Me too."

[nellarw95]

Happy Birthday Neve +50🥳🎂🎈🎁🎉

Buon Compleanno 🥳🎂🎈🎁🎉

[intothestacks]

Wake up, babes! New library-themed comedy series just dropped!

[could-they-be-a-pro-wrestler]

How successful would Bubbles aka Green Bastard…

Would you like to submit a character? Click this link if you do!

[nihilism-and-dad-jokes]

Chill, Light-Hearted, Wholesome Sit-Com/Dramedies That Healed My Soul:

1. Schitt's Creek

- Canadian

- Contains the best written Queer romance I've ever seen on screen, as well as multiple well-written female characters with their own fascinating story lines that do not revolve around the men in their lives!

- main themes of love (of all kinds), personal growth, community, and family (both found and blood)

- Hulu, Amazon Prime Video, Freevee, Philo

2. Ted Lasso

- British/US American fusion

- I have never seen a show with such healthy masculinity AND healthy femininity, both. I have also rarely seen friendships so well written. Great female, queer, and POC rep as well!

- themes of accountability, forgiveness, personal growth, mental health, and found family

- Apple TV + (as someone who loathes apple... It's worth it)

3. Letterkenny

- Canadian

- Incredible dialogue! Seriously, it's so amazingly witty, and will absolutely be entering new slang into your personal vernacular. Indigenous rep! Polyamourous rep!

- themes of community, empathy, and different kinds of masculinity

- Hulu

4. Brooklyn 99

- US American

- The only acceptable cop show. It's basically the ideal of what cops SHOULD be, while being self-aware enough to mention regularly that they aren't.

- incredible female characters, queer characters, POC characters...

- main theme is found family!!!! Also personal growth and learning from the people around you

- Peacock, Sling TV

[parker-likes-tea]

she literally just serves cunt day in day out this is a moria rose stan account and always has been tbh

[clairethecutepup]

I'd like to share with you all a comedic and hidden gem I found. It's a French-Canadian shown from about a decade ago, called Knuckleheads. I'd definitely recommend it if you were a fan of Adult Swim, 'cause the animation and writing style are similar to it. Of course, that also means it's intended for a more "mature" audience, but it's not needlessly crass stuff and actually has comedy beyond sex/cursing/etc.

[lifewithaview]

Republic of Doyle (2010-2014) Fathers and Sons

S1E1

The Doyles help a close family friend beat a manslaughter charge despite the fact that he refuses to defend himself; Jake's relationship with his ex-wife, Nikki, is heating up when it should be cooling down - and Leslie might be the perfect distraction.

[canadachronicles]

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An oldie but a goodie, eh?

[gloomiedyke]

Top Sit-Com Dramedies:

1. Schitt's Creek

2. Letterkenny

3. Ted Lasso

4. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

5. Heartstopper

~

Top Fantasy/SciFi Shows:

1. Good Omens

2. Our Flag Means Death

3. Willow

4. Star Trek: TOS

5. The Sandman

6. What We Do In The Shadows

7. The Good Place

8. Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

9. Warrior Nun

10. Charmed (OG)

11. Star Trek: DS9

~

Top Animated Shows:

1. The Owl House

2. Arcane

3. Steven Universe

4. Gravity Falls

5. She-Ra Reboot

6. Helluva Boss (+ Hazbin Hotel)

7. Avatar: The Last Airbender

~

Watchlist So Far:

- Over The Garden Wall

What other suggestions do y'all have for my watchlist? I have severe ADHD and escapism is my main coping mechanism, so hit me

[mercurygray]

So I Hear You Liked...World War Two Dramas

What's that? You said you wanted a World War Two series where women actually speak to each other? Have I got a deal for you!

When Band of Brothers first came out, I did not have cable, but what I did have was a card at a library that owned seemingly every PBS drama ever broadcast. I know and love a lot of these shows, and I hope you do, too.

As we wait for Masters of the Air to join us, maybe you can fill some time with one of these!

Classic: These shows were made in the 70s and 80s and while the production values are not the same as something made more recently, they're all fun to watch.

Danger UXB - daily life in a bomb disposal unit.

Dad's Army - comedy show about the Home Guard.

Hogan's Heroes - situational comedy about life in a POW camp.

Piece of Cake - follows British pilots stationed in France as the Phony War begins.

Homefront Perspectives:

✨Housewife, 49 - Based on the wartime diary of Nella Last, who participated in the Mass Observation project. One of my favorites.

✨Foyle’s War - procedural crime drama following DCS Foyle and hsi team as he solves murders in wartime Britain. Another favorite.

Island at War - Wartime life on the Channel Islands during the German occupation

Land Girls - Follows the lives of a group of Land Girls working on an estate farm.

Bomb Girls - Follows the lives of a group of workers in a Toronto munitions factory.

Home Fires - Life in a small British town near an air base. Based on a book.

World On Fire - Follows the disparate lives of several people in several countries as the war begins.

✨All Creatures Great and Small - The life of Yorkshire Vet James Herriot, based on the book series of the same title. A favorite, both the 1970s original and the 2020 version.

A French Village - Daily life in a French village is upended as the Germans invade. Follows the same village through the entire war.

My Mother and Other Strangers - An Irish village deals with the introduction of an American Air Force base.

Colditz - life in one of the war's most infamous POW camps. Features Damian Lewis!!

Atlantic Crossing - the life of Crown Princess Marta of Norway as she tries to advocate for her country while living in the United States.

The Halycon - Life in a posh London hotel during the 1940s

Spies and Science:

X Company - Canadian drama about life overseas for spies

Resistance - French wartime drama about a woman in the French underground movement

Restless - Postwar drama about a woman who spied for the Russians in England during the war.

✨Manhattan - If you liked Oppenheimer, have I got a show for you!! Follows the lives of several scientists and their families as they move to Los Alamos. A favorite.

✨The Heavy Water War - Norwegian/British operations Grouse and Gunnerside to destroy German heavy water plant. A favorite.

The Twelfth Man - Norwegian sabotage operation gets shot down in occupied Norway.

✨Generation War - German experience of war from variety of perspectives. This show is excellent. Everyone should watch this.

✨SAS: Rogue Heroes - Follows the foundation of a parachute regiment in North Africa that would eventually become the basis for Britain's commando units. A favorite.

Postwar:

A Place to Call Home - very soapy Australian post-war drama about an upperclass family.

Our Wonder Years - Follows three sisters in post-war Germany as they attempt to confront the past.

Tannbach - Follows a family whose German town is split in two along the new East-West border.

The Defeated - Crime drama following a policeman trying to find his brother in post-war Berlin

Small Island- a Jamaican woman moves to London after the war and tries to adjust to a country that doesn't want her there

Call the Midwife - Social drama in the 1960s addressing the health and lives of the post-war poor of London.

[celtigxr]

THE PINK DREAD - CH. 18 (Masterlist)

Chapter Summary: A dinner that shall forever be known as the Battle of Passive Aggression. Word Count: 4319 CHAPTER WARNINGS: Sass.

Series tags: Aemond x Plus size!OfC, Aegon x Plus size!OfC, Celtigar!ofc, Plot with Smut, mdni 18+, Aemond End Game, Angst, Comedy, The Dragons Don't Dance, slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers.

Credits: Lace Banner by Aquazero, pearl divider by Pommecita

Notes: Happy Thanksgiving to all my Northerners (Canadians) out there!

Valeana had readied herself to be nervous and overly shy under Aemond’s stare that evening. However, the moment she saw him perched next to Maris Baratheon, of all people, that quickly changed. There was a distinct ringing in her head that made it difficult for her to hear others as they introduced themselves. She found it particularly hard to say anything coherent to Samantha, who had recognized her in name only. 

Her green eyes bored into Aemond’s scarred face and the position of his body. Arm draped on the back of the settee, behind Maris, with his body poised in her direction. It was way too familiar. Too intimate.

Then Shyla acknowledged her, and when the confirmation came out that Maris was indeed here because of Aemond, Valeana couldn’t help herself. 

“Invited you?” It came out like bile after drinking something vile and putrid. She had meant to think that, but it came out nonetheless.

“I did,” Aemond had said, baring his scared cheek at her. 

It took every ounce of strength in her to keep her face unreadable, but her flickering eyes between the two likely betrayed her thoughts. Maris seemed to pick up on the contentiousness that radiated off of her, because the Baratheon was quick to respond.

“Does that surprise you, Lady Valeana?” Her brows furrowed in challenge.

The Celtigar pursed her lips before giving Maris an fraudulently innocent smile,  “Only by a little. I was not aware Prince Aemond had friends.”

If any of the Hightowers were aware of this silent but deadly battle between ladies, they did a very good job at pretending nothing was going on. Aegon, however, was enraptured; his eyes darted between the two, and then finally to his brother when Aemond started to speak.

“Hm, a reasonable assumption, Lady Valeana. Though, I merely am conservative on who I call friend nowadays. One cannot always be certain of another's intentions in court. And…Lady Maris’ presence has been such a delight that I did not wish to part with her this evening, so I had no choice but to invite her.” 

The way he looked at her and she at him made Valeana’s fingers curl so savagely into the fabric of her skirt, she was sure that her nails were tearing through the thread. The strength of keeping her face straight was all put on her jaw, which clenched at her teeth so severely it started to get sore. A slow rumble of a growl was vibrating in her throat, though it was completely unnoticeable to anyone but her. Perhaps it was her Lannister blood, because all she wanted to do was lunge at Maris like a lioness hunting a doe the moment Lady Sam made her comment about sweetness and love matches. 

It was Aegon’s hand wrapped itself around her bicep that stopped her from moving forward, and then it was Otto’s declaration of dinner being served that brought her back to reality. 

Valeana barely registered Shyla as she fluttered to Daeron’s side, away from them and towards the table. Her eyes bore into Maris’ back, where Aemond’s hand found purchase. 

“I have an idea,” Aegon whispered conspiratorially to Valeana as they followed the Greens over to the large dinner table. “Follow my league.”

Her mouth popped open to ask what he was doing, but she felt his arm snake around her waist and guided her around the table. The circular table was large, but with the additional three to the party, the chairs were closer together. Otto took claim of the largest chair at the far left, between Ormund on his left, and Lady Sam on his right. From her, sat Lyonel (a bit too close to Samantha, Valeana noticed), Daeron, Garmund, and beside him is where Aemond was pulling a chair out for Maris. 

“Trust me,” Aegon whispered from behind as he guided her into the chair and tucked her in before moving to her right side. Shyla sat to his right beside him, leaving her directly across from Daeron, which might have been by her design. 

When Valeana’s eyes swept over the table, she had realized that everyone had sat down save for Aemond, and the chair next to her was the only one available. She was bitterly reminded of her first evening back, where she was forced to sit in front of him. 

At the moment, she did not know which was worse. 

Aemond stiffly sunk into the seat next to her, and the proximity of the chairs seemed far more tighter now for it. At the very least he remained in her peripheral, so she didn’t have to worry about accidentally catching his eye, but that was a different case for Maris. She was just within sight that she would have no choice but to regard Valeana too when she addressed Aemond. 

Shyla was quick to begin conversation the moment food was placed on the table and served to the guests. Of course, her line of questioning was all about Daeron, and the prince was eager to provide answers for it. What it was like to grow up in Oldtown, what Tessarion was like, what were his hobbies, etc. Occasionally, an anecdote was provided by the nephews, and the four boys would fall into a reverie about past escapades. 

Aegon leaned into Valeana’s ear, “Arrogant prick.”

Val eyed him, a secretive smile placed behind her napkin as she whispered back “Just like his brothers.”

Aegon also smiled, but rolled his eyes and brought his goblet to his lips. 

“It is a shame Gwayne could not join us,” Ormund said through bites of his food. 

“He had prior engagements,” Otto explained, eyes cast to his food. “He rather spend his first night in the city with a bunch of drunken knights, pretending to prepare for a tourney that does not start for sinnight.” 

Samantha chuckles, “Good uncle, please. He sees his family every day, and just simply wishes to be among like minded men.” 

Valeana spotted the smirk on the corner of Aegon’s lip, switching at his attempt to hold it back. 

Otto merely scoffed at this. 

“Will you be competing in the tourney too, Prince Daeron?” Shyla asked immediately, once again shifting attention to the youngest prince. 

“Of course!” Daeron beamed, “Should they participate, it would be an honour to compete alongside and against my brothers.”

The attention was put onto the two elder princes, who both pursed their lips in response. 

“I have not yet decided,” Aegon replied first, then looked over at the other, “But Aemond has shown eagerness towards it, haven’t you, brother?”

“And what gave you that impression, Aegon?” Aemond asked with a turn to his brother, though Valeana kept her body’s position to the right so she could not see him when he did. 

“Well, you dragged me out of my quarters demanding that I train with you in preparations for the tourney, did you not?”

Shyla craned her neck to look around Aegon and Val to see Aemond, “Is that what that whole business was about that other day in the training yard?”

“What business?” Maris tilted her head at Aemond. 

“Aegon and Aemond were sparring viciously in the training yard,” Shyla giggled, “For a second I thought they were going to maim each other.”

Daeron laughed, “I wish I witnessed that. I did not think you a fighter, Aegon.”

Aegon’s head whipped in his direction, “I am just as fearsome as Aemond. In fact, I bested him that day, did I not, Lady Valeana?” 

Valeana was leaning back in her chair with her fork twirling in her fingers when she was acknowledged. Aegon held her gaze for a moment after the question was directed at her, and then she moved her eyes around the table before landing on Aemond. 

“He did.”

Aegon beamed back at Daeron, brows raised in victory, “See?”

“I would hardly count that as a fair victory,” Aemond responded as he leaned back in his chair and mimicked the position of the woman at his right. “I was distracted.”

“Mm,” Aegon hums as he swallows his drink, “Quite the distraction, though, I might say.”

Valeana shot him a look. That day was a horrible reminder of a bitter truth that she was still trying to swallow. 

“I do not give a shit about her. I never have, and the Seven knows I never will.”

Sometimes in these last few days, she wondered if that were true. He’s made it clear in very blunt, obvious ways, such as their painful discussion when she had tried to make amends with him near the stables. But then he would go around and volunteer to bring her safely back to her apartments, out of concern for her virtue at the hands of his brother and the untrustworthy guards. Then he would touch her and kiss her skin, and leave her with bruises before pulling away from her as if he realized she was a pig in a dress all along. 

Val chanced a glance at Maris, who thankfully wasn’t looking in her direction when she did. Maris… another odd, annoying development. Is that genuine, or was he playing at something? Why would he, if he wanted nothing to do with Valeana? 

Maris tilted her head at Aemond and the moment she did, Val turned away before she was caught staring. 

“What could have possibly gotten you that distracted?” Her tone had a lace of amusement, and from the corner of Val’s eye she could see the Baratheon’s hand reach out and land on his elbow.

Aemond had to turn his head fully in Maris’ direction to answer her, but before he could, it was Aegon who did in his stead. 

“Only the most beautiful distraction of all the Seven Kingdoms.” 

Valeana’s mouth popped open and her eyes flashed widely at Aegon as he took her free hand in his grasp and brought it to his lips. Her face flushed rouge, and a pit of something settled in her gut. Fear? Embarrassment? Shyness? It felt a bit like a moth fluttering around the glass of a lamplight. 

Aegon kept her eye for a moment. His own mischievous and playful, but when he shifted to the presence behind her, it darkened. Valeana remained frozen in her place, save for her eyes that flickered away from the prince and focused on the older man at her far right. Otto Hightower was looking directly at her, brows shadowed over his eyes, hand cradling his glass goblet in front of him, but not quite reaching his lips. 

He stared at her as if she were the cause of this. Of everything. Every damn misstep and inconvenience in court. And perhaps she was. No, she knew she was. She was dangling herself like a piece of raw meat between two snarling dragons.

The staring contest in which Aegon held with Aemond lasted mere seconds, but it felt like a hundred year war. Oh, Aemond would loath to admit how much Aegon knew him. How easily he could get possessive over things that he believed belonged to him. A trait that likely stems from him being the middle child, Aemond was always expected to be given leftovers and to share. Whereas both Aegon and Heleana were often given everything freely, as both the oldest and the only daughter. Daeron, of course, was the shining example of a spoiled youngest sibling. The first to claim, and the last to own. 

Aegon knew well enough that Aemond longed for Valeana the moment she left King’s Landing a decade ago. He had a visible shift in his personality since then; more sullen, more phlegmatic, more self serious, and he smiled considerably less. However, Aemond swallowed his regrets and gave a stiff upper lip to it all, even after his lashings. But, the fact of the matter is, Valeana was the most important person in his life at the time. Aemond tried to hide it as best he could, always keeping his companion hidden from his brother and nephews as much as he was able. They teased him relentlessly due to Valeana’s blatant affections for him, forcing Aemond to keep his friendship in the shadows, but it was still painfully obvious. So, Aegon would tease Valeana when he could, knowing it would rile up Aemond, though he would not be able to defend her out of fear of catching the blows as well. It was like mocking starved pit hounds through the bars of a cage, only the cage was of Aemond’s own making.

Oh, how things never change. The title was different, but the story was the same. Aemond’s pride still prevented him from acting upon his evident possessiveness, but those bars of his shuddered against his snarling, evident by the flared nostrils and upper lip curling. 

Time spun back to life when Lady Sam cooed and shared a look with Lyonel, then her husband quickly after. She jutted her bottom lip at him with a hand clutching her step son’s arm, shaking it gently. Completely oblivious to the affection his wife had with his son, Ormund tilted his head lovingly at his wife’s reaction. 

“This is so sweet. Both princes are completely smitten already. Love is in the air in King’s Landing, is it not, husband?”

Aegon wretched his eyes from Aemond, and gently placed Valeana’s hand back down, but did not let it go. Briefly, he caught sight of Maris with a stitch in her brow over the exchange, giving him some satisfaction that this also affected the other woman, if only that it would please her fair-haired opponent. 

“Now it is just your turn, Daeron,” Lyonel laughed, giving a playful punch to the younger prince’s arm. 

Daeron chuckled good naturedly, “Perhaps my love story has already begun, eh?” 

Beside him, Aegon could hear Shyla give a soft squeak as she stiffened straight in her seat. He gave her a brief glance, pleased to find her still enraptured by his stupid brother, and that she had completely dismissed Aegon’s earlier affections towards her sister. Aegon was now free to unleash as much chaos as he’d like without the threatening presence of the youngest Celtigar daughter and her unsettling aura. 

Passing Shyla, Aegon caught his grandsire’s eye, which instantly wiped the smile from his face. Otto’s glower was filled with a hundred words of scolding for ruining what should have been a fine dinner with family. The silent berate went ignored, however, for Aegon’s prize was far more valuable than the approval of the Lord Hand.

 He was aware that his grandfather was the one responsible for his mother’s urgency for Aegon to marry Helaena, despite the two of them and the King himself having no desire for the match. Whilst Aegon wasn’t the brightest of the Targaryens, he still lived in court long enough to understand how it works. It also helped that he was made aware at a young age that his existence was a weapon to usurp the Throne for the Hightowers, and one of the paths to that was to marry his sister and sire more pure, direct heirs. 

But Aegon did not want to be king. He wanted–

“Could you imagine?” Garmund spoke excitedly, “Three royal weddings at once?” 

“Heavens, the food alone would deplete the royal treasury,” Ormund chuckled. 

Valeana cleared her throat, “I would not get ahead of ourselves. The Conclave hasn’t even started.”

“I agree, Lady Valeana,” Otto spoke at last, “It is early still, and no formal declarations have been made. The Crone may have other plans by the end of the event.” 

Aemond’s eye was burning a hole in Aegon’s hand, which still had not declawed itself from Valeana’s. What was this, this sudden display of affection? They waltzed in the dark, and now, all of a sudden, Aegon was essentially announcing their courtship. Was this part of her game, or his? 

Or theirs? 

Aemond’s eye widened at the revelation. Now his mind was a tempest of moments of the time past since the arrival of the Celtigars; everything he has bared witnessed that others have not. The moments between her and Aegon began to pile up in his head, along with Floris’ warning about her step sister. Aemond came to one only conclusion: They were both in on this. Valeana with her petty revenge, and Aegon’s unsatiated hunger to remind Aemond that he is lesser to him. While Valeana’s motivations were valid in its childishness, he could not help but wonder what Aegon’s were. It could not simply be for the enjoyment of watching Aemond be miserable, there had to be another reason. 

Once again, Aemond glanced back at Aegon’s hand clasping hers, and it brought him back to the moans he heard beyond his brother’s door that night. He took a steady breath through his flared nostrils, and slowly lifted his chin until his eye was forcibly piercing into Valeana’s profile. Lips pouted neutrally, eyes casted over her plate, and body poised away from him, all keeping up an impartial visage. Would his Valeana really stoop so low as to literally sleep with his brother in order to get back at him? Or at the very least, allow Aegon’s hands on her in ways that Aemond dared not think of? Then again, his Valeana would not have drank herself into a stupor and allowed him to ravish her tits in the dark like some common harlot. 

No, this was not his Valeana at all… That girl died long ago, and before him was the girl set out to avenge her death. He had no one else to blame but himself, but he also was not the same Aemond as before. That Aemond died as well, though he couldn’t pinpoint when and where that happened. Perhaps it was that day as well. But either way, the final nail in the coffin was when his eye was plucked out of his socket by the tip of his nephew’s dagger. That was when he truly lost himself.

Sound rushed to his ears when at last Valeana pulled her hand away from Aegon’s to reach for her goblet and take a sip. The conversation that was being had somehow delved into small talk about this and that. The warm weather they were having, the nobles from the Reach that would be arriving soon after the Hightowers, Cannibal’s unsettling presence that has caused smallfolk quite the stir, and Daeron’s assurance that he and Tessarion could probably take him. Aemond was too preoccupied with his stewing to make a comment about how ludicrous that was.

Finally the pot reached a boil, and Aemond simply could not help himself. 

“I believe tonight can benefit with some music,” He sat back in his chair, his food almost largely forgotten. He turned to Maris and smiled before he looked over at his grandfather, “Don’t you agree, Lord Hand?”

Otto raised an eyebrow at him, not entirely sure what Aemond was trying to achieve, “It would, but alas, we are fresh out of bards.”

“But we are not,” Aemond’s words bristled the woman to his right. “We are in the presence of great talent right now.”

Daeron, irritatingly guffawed and waved at him, “Please, brother. I am a fair lutist at best, but that is flattering to say.” 

“I was referring to the Celtigar sisters, brother,” it took a great deal of power for him to rein in the ire from his tone, and the desire to call him a buffoon was on the tip of his tongue. “The Sirens of Claw Isle, they are called, and we are in the presence of two of them.” 

“Oh, that is right, of course,” Samantha perked in her seat excitedly. “How could I forget – My father remembers you three singing as children when he visited here many years ago. He likened it to being lured into the sea by mermaids.” 

Daeron’s eyebrow raised, “Is that so? Well, now I must hear a song or two, so that it will put me and my silly lute to shame.” 

Maris softly scoffed and sarcastically remarked, “Please, do not exaggerate, I fear it will raise my expectations too high.”

Valeana slowly turned towards Aegon, hoping that he could recognize the plea in her wide eyes. She knew immediately what Aemond was doing as soon as he had mentioned music – he means to put her in an uncomfortable position, a humiliating one where she must again explain why she no longer sings, a fact she is not proud of. Along with her embroidery skills, her voice was the only thing she had liked about herself, and time and shadow robbed her of it. 

Aegon merely raised an eyebrow and tilted his head, clearly not reading her mind. Some partner in crime he was. 

So her eyes flickered over to her only other ally at the table: her sister. Her large doe brown eyes found Valeana’s after prying them off of Daeron for once. With a skill that really only women knew, Shyla read her mind in an instant. 

Unfortunately for Valeana, Shyla had her own solution to the problem. 

“My mother taught me it is unseemly to brag, but,” Shyla beamed brightly at her sister. “We are quite good together. Even if Floris is not here, Valeana and I make great harmony.” 

“I was under the impression Lady Valeana has retired her voice,” Otto’s inclusion of the truth causes Valeana’s cheeks to redden, and she bows her head and opens her mouth to confirm his statement. 

But Shyla continued. 

“She says that, but she is modest. She sings all the time in her room. My sister is a good lutist and harpist, of course, but she also writes the songs we sing at Claw Isle, and practices them on her own time to make sure they sound right.” 

“You write, Lady Valeana?” Maris’ question forced the elder Celtigar to turn in her direction, nearly catching Aemond’s profile in her line of sight. She felt she was getting whiplash, though she wasn’t entirely ungrateful for Maris’ change of subject. Anything to cease the possibility of her singing in public. 

“Mm, I do, yes,” Val cleared her throat when her voice sounded too tentative and small. “Creatively; mostly songs, and bards tales.” 

“My lady is full of talents,” Aegon spoke finally, hand moving now to rest on the back of her chair. “Singer, songwriter, seamstress. Almost all the good ‘s’ words.” 

Valeana hit his thigh with the back of her hand discreetly under the table. 

“Lady Maris is an accomplished writer as well,” Aemond added, “She was just telling me earlier about her progress on the book she is writing. I am eager to read it once she is finished.”

Maris glowed under his praise, “That is lovely for you to say, my Prince.”

“Do you write creatively too, Lady Maris?” Samantha asked before taking small bites of what remains on her plate. 

Maris shakes her head, “No, and I mean no offense to Lady Valeana, but I find creative writing to be… a bit frivolous, and not very productive of my time. I much prefer fact over fiction. My current work, as Aemond mentioned, is a book about medicinal uses of plants and flowers.” 

Pretentious cunt, Valeana bit her lip before her thoughts became reality. 

“I was just speaking with Prince Aemond earlier today about the common bush flower, Hydrangea, and how in large doses can be toxic, but it’s roots–” 

“Hydrangea,” Valeana corrected her. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Apologies, Lady Maris. Your pronunciation is incorrect. It’s Hy-drain-juh, not hy-dran-gee-ah.” 

“Hm,” Maris shook her head. “No, no, it isn’t. It is hy-dran-gee-ah.”

Valeana smiled condescendingly, and nodded after taking a large gulp of the rest of her wine before motioning Aegon to fill her cup for her. Which he obliged without hesitation. “It isn’t, and I would know because they are in abundance on Claw Isle. It’s widely considered to be our national flower, and everyone pronounces it as hy-drain-juh.” 

Maris gave a lofty chuckle, “Then I am pained to tell you this, Lady Valeana, but it seems like everyone on Claw Isle has been mispronouncing your ‘national flower’.” 

Everyone in that room might as well not exist, and frankly, Valeana did not care if there were more in attendance to this asinine debate that Maris insisted on having, instead of simply admitting she was wrong. The audience would make it all the more satisfying. 

 Val’s eyes narrowed at the shrew, then she leaned forward with her hands braced on the table.  

“Hydrangea is a Valyrian word, because it is a flower that came from Old Valyria, and was introduced to Westeros when my ancestors settled here, a century before the Conquest. It exists here, because my forefathers brought it here. Hydrangea means cup or vessel, because the seed capsules resemble cups,” With a flourish of her hand in Maris’ direction, she swiftly grabbed her now full cup with the other, as if for emphasis. “Though, you are an Andal, so I do not expect you to know much of the history and flora of Old Valyria, much less the pronunciation of our words. Perhaps that is something you should include in your book, Lady Maris. Se pār kostā tāemītsos ziry bē aōha gundja.” (And then you can stick it up your ass) She raised her glass in mock cheers and brought it to her lips.

But before the liquid touched her tongue, her green eyes flickered over to Aemond. She instead drank up that. Lips parted, pupil blown wide, and chest barely containing his deep steady breaths. If she looked south, she would have seen his fingers splayed on his thigh, flexing stiffly near the tent in his breeches. 

CHAPTER NINETEEN SNEAKPEAK “Lord Bartimos spoke to me earlier,” He broke the silence at last with a tilt of his head to try to catch Rhaenyra’s eye. She was staring out the window, where Seasmoke flew in the distance, baying into the sea to express his loneliness. When she only acknowledged him with an uninterested hum, he continued. “He had an interesting proposal regarding Jacaerys.” At the mention of her son’s name, Rhaenyra tore her eyes from the window, and acknowledged her husband’s presence. She hadn’t the capacity to show any more interest than a simple, “What about him?”

Notes: Hydrangeas are actually originally from Japan, but the name is Greek. Since Valyrian is based off of ancient Greek and Latin, I thought it would be fairly believable if I just ~pretended~ the flower is from there, or at least that region of the world. What Val says is true though, it does mean cup, or rather "water vessel", because of the seed shape. Also taking a moment to say that some words are not translated in Valyrian yet. It's an incomplete language, so in the future, when it's spoken, the words that do not have a Valyrian translation (and there are many) I will be using an ancient Greek or Latin placeholder for it.

Tag: @queen-of-elves, @keylin1730, @anakilusmos, @weepingfashionwritingplaid, @sugutoad, @desireangel

( if you wish to be tagged for this story, just give me a reply! )

Please do not re post, redistribute or plagiarize my work. The only other place this story is posted on is ao3 under the same username.

[svechnikovvv]

ever since toronto (1)

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jamie.drysdale who is this? what’s his name, address, social security number, license plate number, etc 🤨

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y/n.drysdale jamie, we’ve told you to replace the batteries in your hearing aids dozen of times 🤦‍♀️

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trevorzegras i’ll take her 🙋‍♂️

jamie.drysdale i’ll hose you down, trevor. i told you to stop hitting on my older sister

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y/n.drysdale i hate to burst your bubble, trevorzegras, but contradictory to mrs beyoncé, im not a single lady

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trevorzegras all i have are ones right now

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jackhughes 😧😧

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jackhughes I PLEAD THE FIFTH (was that good y/n?)

y/n.drysdale perfect hughesy. just like we rehearsed

jackhughes mom will be so proud

jamie.drysdale STOP SWITCHING SUBJECTS. JACKSON, WHO IS MY SISTER DATING???

jackhughes it says i cant share secrets in the bestfriend contract

jamie.drysdale theres a contract now??

y/n.drysdale there’s always been a contract 🙄

trevorzegras it’s rule #3 in the contract to not share secrets

jamie.drysdale YOU SIGNED IT TOO????

trevorzegras duh

lhughes_06 🫣🫣

jamie.drysdale you hughes’ and your stupid cryptic messages

y/n.drysdale you’re just mad i told them before you 🙄

jamie.drysdale does trevor know who it is too??

y/n.drysdale no ofc not

trevorzegras HEY

y/n.drysdale sorry zegras

jamie.drysdale i feel somewhat better now

y/n.drysdale anyways, soon lukey. soon.

trevorzegras this is almost as exciting as a face reveal

jamie.drysdale you embarrass me so much, i’m locking you out trevorzegras

user1 these conversations are such comedy gold 😭

user2 i love the drysdale siblings

user3 WHO IS THAT MAN AND WHY DON’T WE KNOW WHO IT IS???

user4 i feel like we need to see the bestfriend contract rules now

user5 it’s so not bestie like of you to gatekeep your man

y/n.drysdale soon 🤞

_quinnhughes the dog is adorable

y/n.drysdale thanks q. still gotta decide a name for him

_quinnhughes should name him thor

y/n.drysdale YOU GENIUS

jackhughes don’t inflate his ego

jamie.drysdale quintin, do you know who my beloved, amazing, (insert more adjectives here), sister is dating?

_quinnhughes nope

jamie.drysdale there goes my only hope

colecaufield DOG!!!

y/n.drysdale he said his first words 🥹 let me grab my camera and take a picture for the album

_alexturcotte who is this mystery man???

y/n.drysdale a woman never reveals her secrets

_alexturcotte pretty sure it’s a magician, but okay

y/n.drysdale pretty sure it’s not, but okay!

user6 the dog >>>

liked by y/n.drysdale

user7 is nobody paying attention to the caption??

user8 time to do some instagram digging to find out who he is

masonmctavish23 where was my invite? 😧

y/n.drysdale got lost in the post. sorry big mac

masonmctavish23 i see where loyalties lie 😔💔

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y/n.drysdale keep scrolling, this isn’t about you

johngibson36 they grow up so fast (‘: soon you’ll be married with two dogs

y/n.drysdale love you too dad!

a/n: first part 🤭 the plot will progress the further we get going, trust

tags: @jackhues @jackhughesily @nowandkei @starsandhughes @jhughesl0v3r